unmotivated and finding the drive anyways

I spent the morning dawdling. I really didn't feel like doing much today besides scrolling social media and watching stupid videos. But I felt like I needed to get some work done. I'm pretty sure I have some emotional stuf to work out that is causing the lack of motivation. I'm pretty sure I know what they are too. I've worked through some of it, but there's a lot there, so I need to sit down again and work through more. I'm just thankful that I've put the work and training in over the past decade, so I know how to work through it now. Sometimes that doesn't make it any easier to want to do though. Because it makes you face your pain. 


So, I woke up early. I was like, yeah, I got this today. But then a few minutes passed and I was like, no, I don't want to do this today. So I posted a tiktok (yes, from bed. The topic was posting quality content vs worrying so much about how we look. I then proceeded to avoid by messing around on social media. Finally I got up. I did a half hearted work out.  Then I made breakfast and watched Noelle. Went and put makeup on. After I did, I was like, forget it. I'm not doing anything. I got on tiktok and scrolled for a couple minutes. Then IG. As I did, I went and laid on my bed. I ended up watching a Gary Vee video. I watched a minute and was like, ok, I'm gonna get up and go to the coffee shop to write some blogs. But then I decided no. But after watching a few more minutes, I found motivation to do it (without doing it grudgingly too). While I worked out, and on my way to the coffee shop I listened to an audio book. Right now I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. 


So, all this sounds pretty mundane right? Why in the world am I sharing it with you as though you would care? To be vulnerable and show you that I don't always want to do this thing either. I love it, and I'm so fulfilled doing it. But sometimes I need breaks, and sometimes I need to just push through feeling unmotivated. Just like everyone else. 


You see, I've had countless numbers of people tell me they like my piano playing and would love if they were as talented as I am. Or I'm so lucky to be able to do art. Or I wish I could be as confident on camera as you. But I hate the words talent, luck and wish. Yes, to do things like sing and play piano, it does take some level of talent. But here's the thing, It's 10% talent and 90% hard work. When someone says to me "I wish I could sing like you", that means they don't understand that. That's part of the reason I'm writing to blog. I want to shed some light here. 


When you hear me sing, you hear over 20 years and thousands of hours of practice. You're seeing a product of a lot of time and money invested in years of lessons, performances, taking risks, equipment, rejections, performing for 1 or 2 people because no one showed up. When you watch my videos and you see a confident person, you see 4 years of producing video. You're seeing a product of hundreds of failed videos, hundreds of failed ways of putting out content, over 2,000 videos and livestreams done, people telling me I shouldn't be on camera, people telling me I don't have a good voice. But despite that, I do it anyways and I've never given up. Do you get what I'm saying? 


I got good at these things because I have a strong why and a passion. I 'm where I am because I put in the hard work where others haven't been willing. I've faced the fear of failure, I've faced rejection, and those things actually made me BETTER, because I took those opportunities to learn something. I'm still learning and growing, in fact, I always will be. 


I'm not telling you these things to brag though. I'm telling you because I want you to know why I hate the words talent, luck and wish. We only see end results. We see polished products that we love. We don't see all the blood sweat and tears that went into it. The words talent, wish, and luck remove the power from your hands, and puts it in the hands of something you can't control. But the reality is, YOU CAN DO IT. If you are willing to put in the hard work, you can reach your dreams! It has NOTHING to do with wishing, luck and very little to do with talent. So don't give someone else control, instead, be empowered and take a step towards that dream. Even if it's a small step. It's still YOUR step!! And that's why I'm sitting here in Boba For Life, writing this blog when I was struggeling for motivation. I love you, and you are my why. I want to help empower you to go after the things in your life. And I care way too much about you to neglect this just because I'm not feeling motivated! I love you so so much.




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